Your astrological sign as a Christmas song

Astrology might seem a little silly but, there are lots of people that find it useful. There is a New York Times list that correlates your sign with a specific Christmas song. I am a Capricorn. So, my song is “Fairytale of New York” by The Pogues. Original article here.

Aries: “Father Christmas”,  The Kinks:  “Humor and aggression?  Calling out [BS] to the tune of Christmas bells?  Unrepentant ram energy.”

Taurus:  “Christmas in Hollis”,  Run-D.M.C:  “Taurus rules the second house of material goods and earthly delights . . . this banger tells the tale of a Good Samaritan rewarded with a million in cash, a yule log, and a belly full of macaroni and cheese.”

Gemini: “The Little Drummer Boy”,  Frank Sinatra:  “Leave it to a Gemini to fail to bring a gift for a newborn demi-god and improvise with a drum solo.  Pure mutability, pa rum pum pum pum.”  (???)

Cancer: “Last Christmas”,  Wham!:  “George Michael was a Cancer king, and this banger is positively awash in those cardinal, emo waters.  Still, lamenting a doomed love affair an entire year later?”

Leo: “All I Want for Christmas Is You”,  Mariah Carey:  “Leo is a fixed fire sign that rules the heart, demanding absolute allegiance and utter worship from their loved ones and acolytes.”

Virgo: “White Christmas”,  Bing Crosby:  “A holiday without blemish or upset?  A covetable kind of Christmas for the purifying Virgo.”

Libra: “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)”,  John Lennon, Yoko Ono, and The Plastic Ono Band:  “Mr. John Lennon, the most famous Libra in musical history . . . Sweeten the hard truths and softly sing your agenda?  Libra to the hilt.”

Scorpio: “River”,  Joni Mitchell:  “Scorpio sage Joni Mitchell sings the song of her people . . . Moody, self-loathing, and beautiful in the way only funerals, turtlenecks, and frozen longing can be.”

Sagittarius: “Feliz Navidad”,  José Feliciano:  “This song sounds like a party, and that’s really the M.O. of every Sagittarius who ever raised a jug of wine or arrow to the sky.”

Capricorn: “Fairy Tale of New York”,  The Pogues:  “Shane MacGowan was a Capricorn . . . [It’s] refreshingly void of sentiment (just like a sea goat likes it) but still carries a high note for hope.”

Aquarius: “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”,  Band Aid:  “Aquarius is the sign of community organizing and humanitarian responsibility . . . the song raised $10 million for the [Ethiopian famine] in a single year.”

Pisces: “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday”,  Wizzard:  “[It] perfectly suits the escapist tendencies, tinseled temperaments, and sugar plum preferences of the Pisces ilk.”